Now let's not get emotional!

As I wander through the logical mazes of a non-theistic theology, I keep running into those pesky "emotions." As in previous postings, I know that emotions are powerful things. They are a lot of the unreasoned "reason" behind what we do, think and say. It is, perhaps, an emotional state that got us into the "theistic mess" in the first place--our anxiety over the "big" questions of life/death/existence was a powerful motivator for creating the theistic God who could help relieve some of that anxiety. It makes me, therefore, a bit nervous to allow emotions back into the picture.

What I am skirting, and I suppose I should just "out with it," is the problem of the "religious experience." The question is this, simply put: Can there be an "experience" of/with a non-theistic God? Can I experience a "God" who is not? In my "religous practice," meaning things such as "prayer" "meditation" "worship" "service," there always seemed to be a "something" that I "got out" of these experiences. During a very difficult time in my life when I was alone in Washington, DC and coming to terms with my hasty decision to join the Army to pay for my medical eduction and realizing that I was going to have to "pay the price" of my indentured servitude, it was literally my daily prayer/meditation with my Book of Common Prayer that kept me emotionally together. Even in a less distressing setting, I would often drag myself to church on Sunday mornings drained and tired and wanting to rest/relax/escape and then find myself re-inspired and refreshed after participating in the Sunday liturgy. So I ask the question, was this just patching up my anxieties with the "everlasting arms" delusion? Was it just an "endorphin rush" that left me with a sort of "post coital" calm and high? Or was there some other quality to this experience that I simply cannot put into words. Is it possible that, even though I was mistaken in conceptualizing it as a theistic God entity, there was some "reality," a "more" or a "numinous" or an "other" that I could "touch" so to speak?

As I have read more of John Shelby Spong's books, I note that he seems to return repeatedly to the fact that so many persons have shared with him their "faith stories" or "journeys" and that this has been an important part of his growth and his development away from the theistic God. Perhaps what we really need is for more of those of us who are or are becoming "non-theists" to come out of the closet and share not only our ideas, but our experiences and stories - perhaps a kind of "Kinsey Report" for religion, I suppose. We are really lacking in any strong tradition that we can consult of others who have "experienced" a non-theistic Christianity, although there are, I think, some writings of Christian mystics that might be useful. I speculate that this will really be one of the most difficult parts about being on the edge of a new way of thinking or believing. We have no idea how this will all "come out" in the end (or on the way for that matter) for us.

As Dennis concluded in his comments on my last post---What to do, what to do, what to do? (Add some emphasis on the "do" part, I think.)

Jeffrey Shy
(Do be Do be Do be Do)
Mesa, Arizona